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Here's a question for you shyster types out there:
If workmen make a GODAWFUL UNENDING POUNDING noise outside your house for two days running, can you legally bludgeon them with a baseball bat?
I'm just wondering...
(This might be the plot for my next story...which quite possibly will be written from prison.)
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David J. Montgomery writes about authors and books for several of the country's largest newspapers, including the Chicago Sun-Times, Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer and Boston Globe.
In the past, he has contributed to such publications as USA Today, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Kansas City Star, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and National Review Online.
He lives in the Washington, DC suburbs with his wife and daughter.
You've got a baby, and Jackhammers and ditchwitches bother you? Get an ipod, you weenie.
Robert
Posted by: robert ferrigno | February 21, 2008 at 04:43 PM
My initial thoughts are that you would probably be ok in using a blunt object. To the best of my knowledge, there are no organizations like; "Doctors against blunt objects" or "Mothers Against Blunt Objects".
And as odd as it may seem, the courts generally understand normal human reactions. If this individual needs the application of a blunt object against the side of his - or her - head, you may find a sympathetic court.
Then again - what do I know?
Posted by: Brandt Dodson | February 21, 2008 at 08:30 PM
I'll kill him for a fee. They'll never convict a cripple.
Posted by: Cameron Hughes | February 22, 2008 at 01:27 AM
Dammit, Cameron, I told you. No special treatment!
First it's immunity from murder... Next you'll be wanting a ramp or something.
Posted by: David J. Montgomery | February 22, 2008 at 08:42 AM
The law is settled in this area. A wooden bat, such as the one Juan Marichal used to brain Johnny Roseboro, is quite legal. However, the metal bat, when cranium-aimed, is quite felonious.
That will be $500, please.
Posted by: PAUL LEVINE | February 26, 2008 at 12:18 PM